I've got a few things on my mind today.

One is the health of my ferrets. Both my boys are shedding their winter coats, which often leads to temporary weight loss. But Chouji, my Chubba Wumba, seems to have lost over a pound and is very thin. I am spoiling him with lots of FuroVite, a vitamin and calorie rich smelly goo that I usually use as a reward. It can stimulate the appetite and can also be used as an emergency supplement when they go off their feed for a temporary period. But I am concerned that I have been having to use it a bit too long. Both girls got their rabies shots on Wednesday and go back two weeks from then for their distemper. Distemper is much more important than rabies healthwise, since rabies will decimate a ferret extremely quickly, but legally, rabies is the bigger factor. It's the one the city issues license tags for. Sasuke goes in probably next month for his and then Chouji is due in June, I believe. Expensive time of year for me in terms of the fuzzies. It's another concern there, too, because I'm not sure if I'll be able to ask their "dad" for any more financial support in their care.

And that ties in to thought number two. I'm pretty sure I can't be friends with him. I mean, for one thing, I have enough friends that I rarely see or hear from and who don't answer their phone when I need them. And as hurtful as that can be, it will only be more hurtful when I can't rely on him. Another thing is, I still love him, desperately. Friendship won't fill that void and could potentially put me in the position of having to support him in a new relationship when I don't want to even contemplate him with anyone else. And third, if I'm going to pick myself up and rebuild my life and find new dreams to replace all the ones he shattered, then I'd only be undermining myself by holding on to him. Let's face it, his decision is selfish and crappy and his refusal to see how much I'm hurting is disrespectful and belittling of the depth of love I've offered him. Constantly telling me I can find someone else, that he's not as important to me as I say he is, and claiming that he hasn't destroyed any of my life plans just shows how little value all the sacrifices I have made and the devotion I have given him actually meant to him all this time. Which is very disappointing. But such is life.

I can't give in to the part of me that wants to lay around waiting for him to come back. I mean, if he does come back, it will be very hard for me to say no. But he can't just call me up and say, "Hey, I'm ready to re-commit to this relationship now." That just won't cut it. He owes me a lot more than that and I hope he realizes that. I deserve some groveling and apologies for breaking my heart and turning my world upside-down. And how can trust him? I mean, after all, this is an incredible betrayal and rejection. If he can do it one time, what will stop him from doing that again?

In other news, I think Hugo the Hornet -- mascot of the New Orleans Hornets -- is going to be catching some heat if his impromptu disruption of the 2nd quarter of Round 2 Game 1 between the Hornets and the San Antonio Spurs dramatically impacts my beloved Spurs' performance, considering they were quite hot and playing well and have now spent about 20 minutes on the bench getting cold. I think the refs should get their heads checked for not allowing the teams to go into the back to stay warmed up and instead are making them go through a second warm-up process. *huge sigh* It also sucks that we finally are playing a game against a team in our own time zone and we had to wait til 9 pm for the game start. This game will probably go til midnight and I have to be up for church about 6:30 am and I am not known for sleeping less than 9 hours a day and being happy. *second sigh* Oh well, no matter what, we are the team to beat, we are focused and determined to repeat for the first time in our history, and we CAN! GO SPURS GO!!!!

Well, today is rather warm, especially inside my house as the AC doesn't seem to be doing much more than circulating allergens. (Gotta love spring in South Texas *glares at giant oak tree in front yard*) I was cage cleaning, since my darling ferrets believe that a new cage means they no longer have to use the litter box, and I realized that despite the fan directed at them and the frozen water bottles in socks for them to cuddle up to and their 2 water dispensers being half-filled with ice, they were panting. PANTING! Ferrets don't pant unless they are extremely hot. Their bodies don't have a well-developed system to deal with excess heat. They don't sweat, for example, and much like with cats, panting is not overly effective at dispersing the heat. So I added another fan and a few more frozen water-bottles-in-socks, but decided the best thing to do for immediate relief would be cool baths. It was nail-clipping day anyway, so why not complete the indignity. (For those wondering why bath day is a big deal, there is a lot of debate in the ferret community over the negative impact of baths -- such as flaky, dry skin -- and the general recommendation is not more than once a month. Yes, I realize some people find their "odor" can be controlled by bathing frequently, but I'm not bothered by their "funk".)

Bath day with me is not really exciting for the ferrets. One by one, they get rinsed in the sink, shampoo'd up with a raspberry-scented ferret shampoo, rinsed again, and then quickly wrapped in a towel for a quick scrub, then put back in their newspaper-lined playpen to shake and roll themselves dry. Okay, the last bit is fun for them *grin*. But when their daddy was around, he took all 4 to the bathtub, stripped down, and joined them for a soak. They'd play in the water, swimming and splashing for up to an hour. So I'm sure they are disappointed to be stuck with mommy for the rest of their fuzzy lives, at least in terms of bath day.

Which gets me to thinking how much better their lives were when they had the both of us. They got to outside a lot for more, for one thing. After all, taking two ferrets each out and spending time as a couple while your fuzzy babies romped around in the dirt and fresh air was a lot easier and more fun than it is to take four ferrets out on your own. You find yourself tangled up in the leashes, having them try to go in four directions at once, and talking to yourself. Even worse is the threat of stray dogs. The first time I had all four out by myself, a stray dog came over excitedly to investigate and I couldn't gather all four up into my arms in time, so I had to toss myself on top of this poor beast, scruff him and hold him down until my neighbor saw my predicament and came to help. All the while, three of my "innocent" babies were "investigating" the dog and the fourth had broken out of his harness and run home (Thank God!). When the neighbor took the dog, I ran to my door, threw the three ferrets into the front room and climbed into the big bush to find the fourth. As soon as I had him, the neighbor released the dog and it went straight for the bush as if to find poor Chouji. And then there are the feral cats that set up a perimeter if I have all four out in the outside playpen. *sigh*

Of course, it's been one month since my wonderful man decided he doesn't have time to be in a relationship, so I am naturally quite down today. But I've resolved to pick up the pieces and slowly start getting back into the things that I enjoyed. One of the areas I have to focus on heavily is the ferrets. Because they are "ours", dealing with them has been very depressing and there was a time when I contemplated giving them up for adoption because they reminded me too forcefully of him. But now I see that as selfish childishness. If they were my human babies, I couldn't just do that! So with a fair bit of self-loathing, I am re-committing myself to their care. It doesn't help my mood that someone reminded me today that as early as 3 years of age is considered geriatric for ferrets. Tomo is nearing 2 and a half, Sasuke just turned 2 and Chouji will be 2 next month. Nami is nearing 1 and a half. That means in December, I will have a geriatric ferret! I'm supposed to feed her a different food, which will be a real challenge, not to mention all the extra diseases and special concerns I'll have to watch out for.

It hardly seems I have had them for so long. I guess I should stress that ferret ownership is NOT easy. They are terribly cute animals and have great personalities, but they are not like cats and dogs. I think I might write a post about ferret husbandry later, to explain that, but I am very leery of giving people the impression that they are "easy" pets because they live in cages. The main thing I want to point out is that they should NOT spend all their time in a cage. If my house were solely my own, I'd be able to free-range them more. That and if they'd hit their litterbox more often *sigh*. The other thing I'd point out is that they aren't naturally cuddlers, even though it's almost impossible not to want to cuddle them.

Well, I suppose I'll close this ramble with a few pics of the bath time aftermath. Enjoy.






These pics are in my ScrapBook with little descriptions. I'm not sure how to direct you to that area, but it is public as well.

EDIT: I can't believe I forgot this, but . . . GO SPURS GO! Awesome victory over the Suns last night! Spurs lead the series 3-0. SWEEP THE SUNS ON SUNDAY!!!!!!

I look at this picture and laugh.  These three look like they are practicing how to slip out of the ocean under the cover of night.  Okay, maybe I'm the only one who thinks this, but the way the flash caught their eyes certainly makes them look like they are up to something.  The sable darling sporting a spiky new hairdo is my oldest male, Sasuke (his daddy named him, so don't blame me ;>).  It's hard to believe he will soon be two years old!  The "green-eyed" ferret waiting her time to strike is the alpha mamma of the group (and my smallest ferret), Tomo.  She turned 2 years old on Christmas Day.  The red-eyed mix is my best friend's ferret; I was ferret-sitting and decided to bathe them.  His name is Itachi -- which sets my boyfriend off in Naruto-related giggles.  This red-eyed guy is not yet a year and he beats up on all the others (I have 4 total), plus his big sister, who is a pit bull.  While I was taking this photo, he was leading the assault -- on me, since I was the only remaining piece of "dry land" in the bathroom at this point. 



This is Chouji.  He's a beautiful, loving, mellow boy who loves to pose for the camera.  He only has 3 canines, sadly, because he developed a cavity in one of them due to neglect before I got him.  (They only fed him mush, long after he should have been weaned onto dry kibble.)  In this photo, he was still a bit overweight, but he has now lost a pound due to better nutrition and fun playmates.  He's a year and half (give or take, since we don't know his birthdate).



Finally, this is my darling Nami.  She turned 1 on Christmas Eve.  I fell in love with her the second she climbed up my arm, bit my cheek, and then just hung there.  Such spunk!  She is my most active ferret and the only one brave enough to steal Tomo's treats -- even though she won't eat them.  She just likes to start fights.  She is also a bit of a makeover artist, since she keeps changing colors on me.  When I first got her, she was a champagne.  Then she became a silver mitt.  Then she shifted to a light silver blaze.  Right now, I have to call her a mix.  I'm hoping she'll settle down and become a panda.  She is the only one of my four who has ruby glints to her eyes.  The other three have black eyes.

Well, I said I was going to post about my angels, so now I have.  I can ramble about each one for all eternity, but I shall stop here.  Maybe I'll find some inspiration soon so I can finish ADABN 14, but right now, I want to watch my Brit-coms on PBS.

~B